132.

The goal is to do only what I want. Act only from internal motivations, and not be subject to any external force. I don’t mean that I want to be some ego barbarian. The world still matters. Everything external first has to pass through my own judgement, and if the lesson or advice is good and useful, get internalized, and become part of the internal motivation pool I draw from. That to me is freedom.

I’m sitting at the Blue Danube, and thinking about what Connie said about how there’s no privacy here, the tables are close together and you can hear everything. The couple next to me is reading fiction or something to each other, heads bent over small teapots, kissing ravenously after a couple of lines, then breaking apart to read out loud some more.

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