All your efforts, your money, your things, your education, your job, your relationships, your kids, all your pain, your achievements, sacrifices, everything you strive for, everything, all into one end of this box, a gadget with a conveyor belt leading in, and on the other side, there’s a spigot, and one drop squeezing out, HAPPINESS. The juice is small indeed.

I’m looking for a third place. I mean, home is the first place, work is the second place, and there is this third place where you can go when you don’t want to be at home or at work. Bars serve this really well, but too bad bars aren’t for me, or I’m not for bars. Borders used to be a third place, vaguely at one time, but they’re all closing and it’s not the same. Kevin’s Noodle House perhaps? The fob place? I should scour the city for a Central Perk equivalent; that would be exactly perfect.

How can you tell if a pill is working? If you take it and you don’t get better, can’t you just argue that you would have gotten worse had it not been for the pill?

I loathe the helplessness of sleep. I get in bed and make myself comfortable and try to relax and clear my thoughts; all this to prepare myself the best I can for unconsciousness. I can’t actually make myself sleep, it’s impossible and I hate how this important daily event is beyond my control and there are no guarantees. Who’s to say that one day sleep won’t come and I’ll just lie awake in bed forever.

Mono is playing an orchestra show in London and I am sorely, sorely tempted to go. But I have no more money or vacation days and I’ve planned two trips already so it’s just a matter of lust and excess right now. But it’s all for happiness right! Wring out what drops you can.